Never enough.

Feeling inadequate today. For the most part, my life is super easy. Seriously.  But it seems like lately I've been under par in every way.
— We can't seem to get rid of our little lice friends. I treat, comb, launder, and clean more than you can imagine, yet we're still finding the stupid things on a certain 9-year-old's head. It's emotionally traumatizing and full-on child abuse at this point to try and apply treatments and comb through very difficult, ultra- thick, curly hair.  The whole family is suffering, everybody is mad and yelling at each other. It's horrific.  My house is cleaner than it's ever been! Before you judge - clean is not the problem here! These are a nightmare!  I wish my daughter wasn't the one who has to endure this. She's absolutely had it.
— Yesterday at stake conference the overlying theme was missionary work. I'm really at a loss as to really how to do this. I feel like I'm the one who needs spiritual nourishment all the time, forget trying to extend that to others around me.  I'm paranoid that we're not teaching our children the gospel. My 12-yo can't sit through an hour of church without reading or drawing the whole time. (!)
—I'm feeling sorry for myself! Which is ridiculous! I need to be out serving people! I know that! I've been telling my daughter that you need to "work hard" and "help people" in order to be happy. I know! I know! I've got the "working hard" part pretty much down!
— I feel like I've got FABULOUS ideas for my calling and the sisters in our ward, but feeling stifled. Had a whole Super Saturday planned out with teachers and everything for next month — and then it got nixed. BOO. I honestly don't get it. When the MANUALS say these additional RS meetings are OPTIONAL and "not to make the sisters feel like attendance is mandatory" and I'm offering all types of free classes too, then WHY can't we charge to put together some nice projects? FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT THEM! Not "making" anybody pay for anything!  People LOVE to create cheap DIY Christmas gifts for people and decorations... we are teaching skills here! Sewing! Jewelry making! Bread/roll making! UGH, frustrated.  THIS IS WHAT I'M GOOD AT.
— My "Super Saturday" has morphed into "craft day at Shellie's house" - which I'm fine with, because I really want to give people what they want - this just makes it ten times more difficult to plan/advertise/put together. Since I can't call it a "Relief Society" activity and will not be advertising it at church. Oh, and that means I have to coordinate ANOTHER activity for RS in September. In addition to a "craft day at Shellie's house" and a double "Spa" birthday party for my girls. I'm supposed to start Crossfit again in September too, which means I'm going to be sore and tired all the time, even more than I am now. Sheesh.
— It's been a good six-eight weeks since my feet have been hurting. Bought new, expensive running shoes. Right foot doesn't hurt anymore - left foot is excruciating. Returned the fancy new expensive shoes and bought some others. Slightly better arch support, thought they would help. No dice. I'm starting to think I have a broken bone in my left heel or something. Time to see a foot doctor. Oh but wait, I don't even have a regular doctor to refer me to one!  I tried running the other day and it just about killed me.
— This foot pain is making me severely cranky. As well as the lice. And the face that money seems to be sliding out of my fingers out of my control. I thought we'd have enough cash to get the rest of our tile installed this month, but it's not looking likely at this point.


Amberly said...

D's foot was hurting for a while too after a shoe change. He finally had an x-ray to rule out broken bones. another shoe change and he's good to go. we have an awesome podiatrist friend in our ward if you want a recommendation.

Tried out a real crossfit gym this morning. so much more intense than sarah's but debating if I want to pay it...

we need to do lunch sometime soon.

Alison said...

I feel your pain.....LICE sucks. I would not wish it on my worst enemy let alone anyone else. Lea had it in kindergarten. Doesn't matter how clean everything else is, they thrive in the head. We used Melalueca oil in shampoo - add about 20 drops and use it daily, more if you'd like - get rid of those suckers. We also used a blow drier on her hair as hot as it would go and at the root of her hair for about 10 seconds on each little section - that was how long she could stand it. The nurse said to oil up the hair with baby oil and scalp with baby oil. good luck!

I would have some to your super saturday.....disappointed this is not offered anymore. I think its a great opportunity to get gospel art in the home and a great missionary opportunity as well.

sorry you're in a rut - hope you find a light and can pull out of it. :)

Karen said...


Bottom line is, you're awesome! You do serve, help, offer, extend yourself. Keep your chin up, this too shall pass, unfortunately you have to go right through it to get past it, LOL! So glad you are part of my family!