I crashed my car into a bridge- I don't care

Okay I didn't actually crash my car into a bridge, but I do love that song.

It's  October 16th- today makes one month since my big car accident. If we're not Facebook friends and we haven't talked and you didn't know, a lady turned left in front of me in an intersection. I braked and swerved but couldn't avoid her... slammed into her Suburban and then ricocheted off into another big truck, and Gandalf was totaled.  Kids weren't with me, thankfully.  Completely not my fault. Already got a pretty new car ( name still TBD) and insurance has paid us for all the property damage. The question now is MY damage. Though it didn't seem to be anything at the time of the accident , my back got tweaked somehow- somehow the combination of the impact and the seatbelt tightening down= hurt tailbone?? Weird. After a couple of swings and misses with a couple of docs that forst week, I'm seeing a chiropractor now. He says its most likely a bulging disc. I keep having adjustments and ultrasounds and a couple of days ago I had a massage... But no real improvement yet.  It hurts to sit on hard chairs or benches. Actually it hurts  to sit very long at all. It kills to get in and out of cars- somehow that leaning/ twisting required???If it doesn't get better in a couple more treatments then they will do an MRI.

So... I've got all this medical paperwork looming. Asking me what providers, treatments, diagnoses, duration of problems, etc. I'm at a loss as to how to fill all this stuff out. Of course they want to put a number on everything/ time off work, missed salary, etc. I swear nothing has ever made me feel so worthless.  How do you quantify your worth as a Stay At Home Mom? How do you put a value on feeling good? Or sitting mext to your kids practice their music? Or throw amazing birthday parties for your kids instead of "just okay"? Or volunteer at the school book fair? Or being able to run around and play with your kids on fall break?  Or being able to sit on benches through ASU football games that i already paid for season tivkets to? As much as my hubby/friends/etc have jumped in to help, I can't just hire a "replacement". I was going strong and working out hard almost daily before this happened, both at gym classes and doing Crossfit-type strength training.  Now I'm a wuss and can only do light weights, very modified moves. Sit-ups, box jumps, tire flips, and anything high impact really are out of the question.
You know what time it is right now? 8pm. I've been laying in bed for almost an hour already. Which is fairly typical of how it's been for the last month. Maybe it's the lack of real exercise, all the comfort food, or plain being bummed out and not feeling good, but I am TRASHED by the end of each day nowadays, and way less productive.  Cleaning ? Grocery shopping? Cooking anything for dinner? It all just seems exhausting. Instead of being Supermom and doing all I normally do, I feel like I've just been doing the minimum to get by. And I'm trying my best not to be Totally. Cranky. Mom. Every. Damn. Day.

The adjuster for the other lady's insurance has been nothing but understanding and helpful. He essentially told me "Go see whoever you want to see to feel better, then send us the bill." As time progresses, however, and the more I talk to people, I'm totally freaked out about this becoming a long- term thing! Almost daily I hear of someone else who was "in an accident YEARS ago"
and still has lingering problems and pain. WHAT!

We didn't think we needed a lawyer at first
A) because I hate the legal system and especially people that are sue-happy and take advantage
B) we haven't had any issues dealing with the other insurance as far as fault or treatment, etc.
but now, I'm wondering if I need to retain someone just in case this isn't a short-lived thing... Eek. And dammit, my quality of life definitely HAS been greatly affected and I certainly want SOME pain and suffering $$. Do I really "deserve " anything? How can you want pain and suffering money without being an entitled brat? But how much do you ask for without bring ridiculous? What's fair? Again, how do you quantify something like that?  $1K? $5K? $20K?

I'm going to bed now. My brain hurts.

1 comment:

Scrap Happy said...