My self-cleaning oven, which is taking care of QUITE a gooey disaster right now.
My dishwasher, ditto for the reason listed above.
Lessons learned, that when you forget to add eggs to a recipe, loaves of pumpkin bread tend to seriously overflow their containers, yet never actually cook.
Kleenex. What did the pioneers do when they got a cold? Not like they could throw all of their handkerchiefs in the washing machine each night...
Sales on asparagus. I think I could eat it every day.