Dear Santa,

I liked Amberly's letter to Santa, so I thought I'd write one of my own.

Hey there Santa,

It's me, your helper. Yep, I'm always the one that helps your elves out with all those handmade gifts for my friends and family, and a truckload of handmade Christmas cards every year.

You may be wondering what I want for Christmas. Sigh... honestly, not much that you can do, I don't think. Just a few more weeks to prepare for our Christmas in Zarahemla party next weekend. I know YOU'RE a time traveler, maybe you can teach me? And you're so darn productive for that one night a year. Maybe a tutoring session on how to do the same and get so much accomplished? Along with a couple hundred more bucks in the budget so I don't have to stress over food? Along with actors and singers who can commit to a practice and making their own costume?
Another thing I'd like? An hour and 15 minutes every day to myself to go run at the gym. I promise you could take the privilege away if I didn't use it. Even once.

BTW, do your elves hire out to hang up Christmas lights on residential homes? I'm SURE they're experts!

Oh, you're probably wanting something tangible to give me, though. I know, I know, your elves aren't in the "service" providing business, they're in the "stuff" providing business. But seriously, I'm up to my eyeballs in stuff around here, and don't. need. one. more. thing. You've done very well over the last 33 years, so basically you've gifted yourself out of a job.

Maybe I should have typed this list a month ago and asked for anything but a socialist president for my country...

Oops.

I digress. I'm not going to assume I know your politics, Santa! Let's see here... oh! There IS actually something I want, that comes in a package, from a retailer. Wow. A rarity! Check these out for my kitchen and bathrooms, aren't they lovely?There are even pulls to match - Sigh. I know you're thinking "Why hasn't she just ordered them herself? She knows how to find the best price online!"

Well, you see Santa, I need 30 of those cute little knobs. And like 18 or 20 of the pulls. And try as I might, I just can't bring myself to hit that "Submit Order" button on the Woodworkers Hardware site. I've spent almost 300 bucks on my children in the last three days, and I just can't justify another dollar when I've still got about 10 people to shop for.

Sigh...

Have a great month, Santa. I hope I can be half as productive in the next 20 days as your little elves are!

-Me