Spinning my wheels.

When I hear that phrase I envision a bicycle that's stuck between a rock and a hard place, and as hard or fast as the wheels may turn, it's unable to dislodge itself.  I feel like that's what January has been for me - four solid weeks of pedaling as fast and hard as I can, and still I have nothing to show for it.  I guess my treadmill IS a metaphor for my life right now.  Speaking of which, I'm well on my way to getting that 100 miles run this month, yet I've gained 3 pounds, my pants are tight, and yet again I hate myself in pictures. Riddle me that, Batman.
I may get a couple of rooms in my house clean at once, but it is fleeting and still feels as cluttered as can be. I can barely get any help in that department from the other residents of this house.
I really, really need to sell our Disneyland week at our timeshare in May, and can't seem to get that done either.
I can't even count the hours I've spent creating designs for, and thinking about, our vinyl business this month, but still have no orders on any of the new stuff I've done.  Seriously makes me question my talent. We're currently hosting a giveaway and barely anyone has entered! Sigh.
I still have unfinished craft projects lying around the house from Christmas, because I told myself I wanted to finish everything before I packed it away again.
My middle child is in a tantrum cycle again. Almost daily something sets her off, and sets us up for hours of screaming, fighting, kicking, threatening to run away and live with another family...  Right now on my front porch there is a message spelled out in rocks which reads "I HATE U"  because she was outside throwing a fit last night.  Each time we get to the bottom of her mood cycle I question everything we do as parents, and wonder if it's time to start seeing a counselor or something, and then after a few days she snaps out of it and things are fine.
Little things (and big things) are breaking all over the house - stuff like our water heater, dishwasher... I don't think our water softener is working properly, nor is my dryer working very well at the moment.  I spent $100 this week getting parts for, and then having to hire a repairman to fix, our dishwasher. At least it works now! Our back sliding glass door, and screen, are almost impossible to open - needs cleaning, oiling, all of the above, or something. Our yard looks awful, and needs some serious trimming, shaping, and raking. We never did get that orange tree planted that I wanted to, oh, four years ago.  I'm sorry, but both my husband and I really suck at yardwork. I need to bite the bullet and hire the painters to do the exterior of my house (if you've driven by our house in the last few months, you'd understand why)    My husband is too busy and tired all the time to deal with anything that happens within these four walls.
SIGH - enough complaining for the day.  Time to go get that useless 5 miles run.

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